Friday, October 12, 2012

Republican Grits

Lewis Grizzard once said, "Giving Northerners unbuttered grits is an old remedy for getting rid of tourists."

Lewis was right.  If you've ever had a bad bowl of grits, it's a memory that tends to stick with you...especially in the roof of your mouth.  A proper bowl of grits should feature lots of butter, bacon, and a decent handful of cheddar cheese.  I've lived in the South for my whole existence on God's green Earth and the only bowl of grits I've found acceptable comes straight from my Daddy's kitchen.

For the longest time, Daddy referred to his recipe as Grits Billy Bob.  After William Jefferson Clinton's untimely impeachment, Daddy started calling them Republican Grits and the name stuck.  If you're not a Republican, feel free to call these grits whatever makes you feel warm & fuzzy.

What you'll need:

  • 4 cups of quick-cooking grits
  • 1 block of cheddar cheese
  • 1 pound of bacon
  • 16 cups of water
  • 2 sticks of butter
If the amount of butter makes your eyes bug out, take ol' Grizzard's words to heart:  "If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories."  You can totally justify the butter by eating your grits in a hall closet.  

Make sure that your butter is salted and your bacon is thickly sliced.
 First, fry up all the bacon, leaving one slice uncooked.  You'll need that later.
Josh's Grandaddy supervised the cooking of the bacon.
Bacon.  It's glorious, no?

Pardon my pajamas.

The bacon needs to be pretty crispy.  Once it's done, drain it.  Then, pour 16 cups of water into your stock pot.

And add one tablespoon of salt.

For good measure, throw that slice of bacon into the water.

And then slice up both sticks of butter.

Now let the butter and bacon become BFFs.  And they will.  Have your stovetop set to medium-high heat.

Now...back to the bacon!

Crumble it up in a zip top bag.  

And grate your block of cheese.  Side note:  please don't use bagged, shredded cheese.  It's coated in an anti-caking chemical.  I'm all for shortcuts in the kitchen, but if that chemical can keep cheese from clumping together, what do you think it's going to do your insides?  

When the water begins boiling, dump in the bacon.  Remove the slice of bacon you used to flavor your water {unless boiled bacon is your thing...and if that's the case...ew}.

Pour in 4 cups of quick-cooking grits.  Whisk thoroughly and watch out for splatters.  You'll feel the grits thicken up.  

After five minutes or so of whisking, add in the shredded cheddar.

Serve to people you love {or someone on the verge of cardiac arrest that you just want to knock off}.

And enjoy.

This makes enough for a crowd of people.  It's really easy to make this and transfer to a Crock-Pot, something my Dad does pretty often.  If you're not cooking for a crowd, try this instead:

  • 4 cups of water
  • 1/4 stick of butter
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • 1/4 pound of bacon, fried
  • 1 cup of quick-cooking grits
Happy eating, y'all!




  1. I'll just call them delicious! These sound like heaven.

    1. Ugh, they are SO good! I can't promise that there is a WW recipe for this one, though :)


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