Okay, so we've been bad. No blogging=bad. We're sorry! But we have a good excuse: Game of Thrones ended and True Blood began. That's intense for a couple of television nerds like us. Plus, Audra and Drew got married. And Melissa and Ellie Mae came to visit. And my brother moved away. And Josh flooded his entire workplace. And Amber and Aaron finally came home from South Korea. Needless to say, getting back to blogging is kind of a relief because we appreciate consistency.
Speaking of consistency, do you want to know what is consistently good? Number 92 on our Disney Top 100 Countdown: Ellen's Energy Adventure at EPCOT. If you're afraid of science, Ellen Degeneres, Alex Trebek, Bill Nye* (yes, the Science Guy), freaky game show dreams, or 45-minute long rides, beware! This ride is not for you. Go hop on it's a small world and leave the educational stuff to the enlightened.
Ellen's Energy Adventure is located in the Universe of Energy Pavilion. For some reason, people claim this pavilion is difficult to find. I disagree. Those maps are free for a reason, guys! Anyways, the ride is indeed 45-minutes long (for you complainers out there, that's 45 minutes in the air conditioning). It all begins in a pre-show area with no chairs. Sit on the floor all you want, but a Cast Member is going to tell you to stand. Why? Because it gets really, really dark and tripping over someone's crying baby could be a PR nightmare for The Mouse.
The pre-show is actually a seven-minute movie that features Ellen Degenres and her next-door-neighbor, Bill Nye the Science Guy. I only wish I could be so lucky (just kidding Chase and Jordan)! Then, Ellen falls asleep watching Jeopardy and has a terrible dream involving Alex Trebek, Albert Einstein, and Ellen's archenemy, Judy Peterson (played by everybody's favorite, Jamie Lee Curtis). Ellen discovers in her dream that she knows absolutely nothing about energy, which is unfortunate because all of the section headers are about...energy. Then the movie ends and everyone hikes it into a movie theater with bench seating.
After being seated, the audience discovers that (gasp!) the theater seating moves! That's right, folks. You're turned exactly 180 degrees as you begin this slow-moving ride/movie. I don't want to spoil any surprises but Bill Nye shows up again, there are lots of dinosaurs, you get to experience the Big Bang (and it's loud, so please cover your baby's ears...or better yet, go put them on Dumbo where he/she belongs), and Ellen learns all about different types of energy. Subsequently, you learn about energy too. Ain't education grand? You'll laugh, you'll cry, or if you're my mother, lay down on an empty bench and take a nap. She swears the rocking motion of the moving vehicle is soothing.
If you're trying to find some kind of hidden political agenda, I'm sure you can. If you're trying to find a Hidden Mickey, I've spotted one in the second theater (but you have to really look for it). I know some people think that science/Ellen/Disney are all evil entities, but come on Calvin, you're on vacation. Just enjoy it for enjoyment's sake. If you can't do that, you've probably wasted your money. And you also probably wear fanny packs and socks with sandals. But that's another blog post entirely.
Like I said earlier, this ride is dark, long, and has lots of scary dinosaurs. Parents, beware and remember the golden rule: NOBODY LIKES A CRYING BABY. Also, use the bathroom and grab a snack before you board the ride because going potty in the Primeval Diorama is not okay unless you're an animatronic dinosaur. And if you're reading this blog, I'm assuming that you are not.
Need a break from The Seas With Nemo and Friends? Want to spend a little while in the air conditioning? Are you tired of larger-than-life Michael Jackson reaching out to you at Captain EO? Then Ellen's Energy Adventure is the place for you. And remember, when you put gas into your car, it runs on dinosaur soup!
*A note about Bill Nye, the Science Guy. When my Dad was getting his doctorate at the University**, he totally had classes with a science teacher named William Nye. Apparently the guy wore bow ties just like the real Science Guy. Très cool, right?
**The University, a.k.a The University of Georgia. In my Dad's eyes, there is no other place of higher education.